Sunday, February 27, 2005

[[Life taste sour but sweet]]


In a world full of uncertainty and confusion, there are things that we don't understand thus we tend to not accept life's realities. There are certain things in this world that we want so much but couldn't have. Maybe fate does not totally permit us to have what we want or maybe our timing is just off.
We strive so hard to get good grades. We study day and night, religiously and yet in the end we see that are efforts are just not enough. We start to think, where have we gone wrong? Wasn’t studying enough? Or maybe I’m just too dumb to get good grades. Confusion sets in. We start to wonder whether life will be fair to us or not?! We question our actions and even God.
Life is never fair I guess. If ever it would always fair then I think the world will be such a boring place to live in. Possibly chaos will plague the world because people will always have their way.
Although we accept the fact that life will never be totally fair to us and that there are situations beyond explanation that we encounter, still we can’t help but wonder… why me?! Why for some odd reason these kinds of situations fall upon me. Why certain situations tend to hurt me? Why does it have to hurt when you love? Why is my professor so irritated with me even though I don’t see anything wrong with what I am doing? Why is that some friends tend to leave me hanging?! The list of whys goes on and on.
A friend of mine told me, “how come you always end up in complicated, love situations like this? I think you like it!”. Would anybody be addicted to situations that involves very complicated romantic situations? I wouldn’t. A lot of situations like this come along my way. I guess, for some odd reason, I seem to be luring complications to my life. But no matter anywhere you look at it, it still boils down to choices. I chose to enter these situations. I chose to stay in situations like this all in the name of love (so cliché) . Now I choose to leave this particular situation that I am in.
Loving someone is an easy thing to do. It only becomes difficult when you see it as a difficulty or if outside factors makes it difficult for you.
I’ve been a selfish person who made a persons life complicated. I loved, not realizing that the person that I am loving was caught in the middle. She was caught amongst friends who liked me and even worse caught between me and another guy she loves. Difficult right?! Now I choose to let go and be happy for somebody else. Life goes on right. It’s a matter or psyching yourself so you can live your life in a much meaningful and happier manner.
Life’s unfair I know! But that doesn’t stop us from living life and ultimately… loving. Life’s unfairness and complications spices up ones self and ones life. So go on.. spice me up and soon I’ll be ready to have a better taste of life and I’ll will taste better for life as well.

[[ Caloi shed the truth... ]]*|5:48 PM|

 1 comments

Monday, February 21, 2005

[[]]

Life is so much better when you have friends arounds. A heavy burden becomes much lighter when you have friends to talk to. An exciting even becomes even more fun when you have friends to share it with. Your deepest darkest secrets are sure to be hidden from others when you have friends you can truly trust. Ako, i have a lot of friends. Sobrang dami kong social circles na sometimes i dont know na kung sino pa ang uunahin. I have my PRM family, mei dasma friends, my highschool barkada, mei college barkada, mei block barkada, my village tropa, mei "partymates"... basta madami! the world for me becomes a much better place when I have all these friends around.
I guess the reason i have so much friends is because i choose to have a lot of friends. Its a matter of choice. Everything is a choice. Its up to you if you wanna hold on to your friends and its up to you if you wanna let go. Its my choice to have this much friends. And it is my choice to keep on gaining friends.
Another reason for the amount of friends i have is maybe because I am me and I dont pretend to be somebody im not. Nagpapakatotoo ako! Kung di ako tanggapin ng tao then I gues my time is not worth wasting to these people who doesnt accept me as me. Hindi katulad ng iba na ayaw pa ipakita ang totoo nilang kulay! naiiinis ako sa gnun! tpos magiinarte pa! Haaaay! naglalabasa na naman ako ng init ng ulo! enough of it na nga!
Now im starting to receive more blessing than i should have (iguess), kasi i have a lot of friends kasi! and im finding new friends... my blockmates. Parang iba ngayon! sobrang mas comfy sa lhat! mas at ease! slamat sa mga bagong kaibigan na aking nkilala! keng(well matagal na kitang friend), ong, ton, xiao, koko, ezez, von, pam, at sa isang barkada sa block na tinaggap ako.. ang tropa nina jason. Astig kayo mga chong
well, hanggang dito na lang! wala lang ako mgawa kaya ako magblock! so sori kung walang sense! ahahah! sige! gtg!

[[ Caloi shed the truth... ]]*|10:15 AM|

 1 comments

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

[[Conforming Porma]]

Hindi ba't napakahirap magbihis kung minsan?! Minsan mei mga certain clothes na di talaga tugma sa katawan mo. Minsan masikip, minsan maluwag. Minsan namn pag sakto naman sa ayos parang di nmn ata babagay sayo na ang dating nakakailang tuloy suotin. Kung minsan nais na lng natin magpapayat ng sobra para lamang magkasya ang bagong bili mong damit na sobrang astig sa porma. At once masuot mo na 'to... heto na at rarampa ka na para pagtinginan ng tao at ipakitang maporma ka.
Ngunit ang pananamit ba ay makapagsusukat ng isang tao?! Ito a ay isa sa basehan mo kung sinong kakaibiganin. I know a lot of people who are like that. Who pretend to be so porma when deep down isa siyang simpleng baduy na tao. Wala namang masama sa pagiging baduy as long as ipinapakita mo ang tunay mong kulay.
Parang masakara rin and pananamit kung iyong iisipin. Minsan ang tao nakikisunod lang sa uso kahit di nmn niya feel o di niya personalidad ang pormang pinoporma niya. Nagpapanggap na ayos lang siya kahit na di nmn siya at ease sa knyang get-up. haaayy... bakit nga ba ganun?! bihis tayo ng bihis. di ba pwedeng maghubad na lang?! Naisip ko tuloy bigla ang panahon ni adan at ni eba. Ang panahong walang kailangang pormahan at walang oakialam kung hubad ang isa't isa. Bkit kasi kailangan pang kumagat sa ipinagbabawal na mansanas, yan tuloy... lahat ay nagbago.
Ako aminado ako na kung minsan sobraako kung pumorma pero ngayon natuto na ako. Kung ayaw mo ng bihis ko then fine, wala akong pakialam. Ang dating kasi para ssakin ay ayaw rin ng tao ang personalidad ko. Ang porma ko, ang pagdadala ko sa porma ko at the way i bring myself is part of who i am so if you the like it then fine by me ryt?!
I dress for comfort and according to my personality and thats who i am. Complex tayong lahat. Pabago-bago ng porma pabago-bago ng isip, pabago-bago ng personalidad and its part of every person to be a complex human being.
Gaya ng sabi ko kanina, iba iba tayong lahat. Mei mga taong pilit na ipinapasok ang katawan sa dait na di nman para sa kanila, mei mga taong pilit na sumusunod sa uso at ibinabago ang personalidad para kumuporma sa society.
iba iba tayo, I guess its just a matter of acceptancd. Acceptance for who other people are and ultimately acceptance of oneself and not trying to conform to the norms dctated by the trends of society. Be urself diba?! Magpakatotoo ka!

[[ Caloi shed the truth... ]]*|9:29 AM|

 3 comments

Friday, February 04, 2005

[[Hoping for the Best]]

Naranasan nio na ba yung tipong sobrang may pinaghirapan kayo tpos all of a sudden it becomes a failure not because of anybodys fault but because parang fate doesnt permit what you did to be succesful. Nkakasama ng loob right?! but oh well what can you do but magmukmok sa isang tabi at huminga ng malalaim kasi wla ka na mgagagwa at nanjan na. but then instead of much contemplating at pagmumumok bkit di na lng kaya gumawa ng ibang paraan. Ang tanong... May paraan pa nga ba?! hopefully yes.
For almost two weeks me and my classmates have been preparing for this yearly event that we organize in school. Its a major thing for us communications students since we are able to exercise our skill in production and stuff. All is set... the performers, the set, the music, the obb, the lights, the projectors, the host then suddenly the worst thing thta could happen in any production happens. the school electricity fails to give our show the glory it deserves. depressing ryt?! we tried waiting for it to be fixed but unfortunately wala parin. almost two hours of waiting was wasted! Now were trying to do the an alternative, hopefully it'll work. Prayers na lng guys.
For me, kahit anong mangyari, i applaud all the people who worked for this production. Especially the director adrian. Despite issues thrown at him and criticisms people made against him, still i commend him for his untiring work and the dedication he gave in this project. Para sa lahat behind the stage and the camera.. kudos to you guys! for all the performers, continue to glorify the Lord with your talents. I give you al, a standing ovation.

[[ Caloi shed the truth... ]]*|4:24 PM|

 0 comments

[[*KNOW ME*]]


Name:Caloi Suzara
Bdae:Oct. 15
Nicks:Caloi
Skool:San Beda College Alabang
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